Ew
by OddoMay
Summary: Ppg/Rrb: So basically the rowdyruff boys screws over one of Him's grand schemes, and Him decides to punish them by making them make out with their counterparts, because that's OBVIOUSLY sensible- look just read the story, okay? I'm bad at Synopsis...
1. chapter 1

**THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN IM BORED.**

 **This piece is in a script format for some reason _idfknowwhyjustleavemealoneokay?_**

 _Disclaimer: I don't own the ppg, or the new shit-tastic version (sry not sry)_

Ew.

Him: You selfish prick. You have disobeyed established orders, specifically planned to ruin THE POWER PUFF GIRLS in one of my grand schemes. Did you think THIS WAS SOME SORT OF JOKE!? You insignificant fool, I'll make you AND YOUR BROTHERS PAY-

Butch: Can we get a normal punishment? ( _everyone blinks at him_ ) I'm tired of trying to solve riddles. It makes my brain hurt.

Brick: You're tired?

Him: SHUT UP. ( _Beat of silence_ ). My riddles are fairly sensible and easy.

Everyone else: ( _groans_ )

Him: Seriously?! You haven't even heard it. And this one is really good!

Brick: Fine. What is it?

Him: _(Evil chuckle. Bad ass black smoke starts to fill the air) Three bug eyed super heroines and super villains meet before moon rise. A kiss and the spell is undone..._

Brick: So... we have to kiss our female counterparts?

Him: Yes. See! You solved the riddle just fine and it wasn't even that hard.

Brick: That wasn't even a riddle-

Him: DON'T GET FRESH WITH ME BOY.

Butch: Kissing chicks is easy! I do that all the time in my sleep.

Boomer: ( _mutters_ ) Yeah, cause you can never pull any in real life.

Brick: OOOOOH

Butch: Boomer, seriously, you can be the last to talk about getting a girlfriend. Last I checked, chick's were running away from you-

Boomer: Only because you were standing two feet behind me-

Butch: Only because you won't hop off my dick!

Boomer: I'd hop on Brick before I'd ever hop on you!

Brick: What?

Him: ARE YOU NUMBSKULLS EVEN LISTENING!? ( _puts claw to forehead_ ) I really need to retire from this evil dad job.

Boomer: Wait, we can be a normal family now!? No more Prison Breaks for summer vacation!?

Him: Not yet Boomer. Not yet.

 _( **Camera point of view, Boomers fiddling with the set up. All three boys seem to be sitting in Boomer's room. There is desk in front of them**_ **.)**

Brick: Are you done yet?

Boomer: I told you it takes some time to put together.

Butch: Just like your girl when I'm finished with her. ( _HARDY HAR HAR.)_

Boomer: Alright... it's all done ( _settles back. Waves at camera_ ) Hi.

Brick: Ugh, this is so stupid.

Butch: We're making a movie!

Boomer: No, we're making a documentary for Him. He wants us to record to keep him updated and for proof-

Butch: Still filming Sexy Times! ( _leans towards camera_ ) Him, you are one weird mother fucker.

Brick: You got that right. Frigging recording ourselves making out with our mortal enemies-

Boomer: We don't have to make out with them. We just have to get a kiss. I mean it isn't that bad-

Butch: Dude, I have to kiss a man!

Boomer: You're kissing Buttercup.

Butch: Exactly!

Brick: At least you don't have to kiss Blossom...Bitchtonium.

Butch: Are you- You wanna trade?

Boomer: Him says, we have to kiss our counterparts. No trading, I mean unless he changes the riddle.

Brick: Fuck. I already solved it.

Butch: Thanks a lot Brick. You just had to go and shove your genius erection up Him's ass.

Brick: I couldn't help myself. ( _mutters_ ) He was practically asking for it.

Boomer: You guys are fucking weird. And Him is going to see this shit, so, you're welcome.

Brick: Whatever. Let's just start this shit.

[ **Utonium Household** ]

Professor: Girls! I'm going out to the store. Does anyone want anything!?

Buttercup: Doritos!

Blossom: Just get me one of those smoothie drinks.

Bubbles: I want a cappuccino!

Professor: I'm going to the store, not Starbucks.

Bubbles: They sell their drinks at the store now! I saw them on the shelves last week.

Professor: Well... If that's so, I'll get you one.

Bubbles: Yay! I love you daddy.

Professor: Mhmm. I'll be right back, don't do anything while I'm gone.

Buttercup: What if a monster attacks?

Professor: Well then do something then. But don't do anything wild like...Invite boys over

Blossom: That won't happen while I'm here Professor.

Professor: Yeah... I'll be back. ( _Door slams. The girls resume what they're doing quietly)_

 _..._

 _(WINDOW FUCKING CRASHING SOUND_ )

Buttercup: Whut Whazzat? _

( _Girls dash up to their room)_

Brick: ( _flying nonchalantly in room. Back is turned. Doesn't notice pissed Blossom_.) I said break in quietly, not wake up the whole damn town!

Butch: You try shattering a window silently!

Brick: ( _Shatters another window silently_ )

Blossom: Hey!

Boomer: Wazzup!

Buttercup: No, hey, as in, what the fuck are you doing in our home?

Blossom: You've got some nerve.

Butch: We're here to make a movie, now show us your tits!

( _Silence_ )

PPG: ( _WE'RE GONNA KICK YOUR ASS)_

RRB : ( _NO WE'RE GONNA KICK YOUR ASS_!)

[ **Mojo Jojo's Lair. Boomers room. Camera Perspective]**

 _(Boys sitting silently in front of the camera, faces swollen and poorly bandage)_

Boomer: Why are we filming this? ( _Turns camera off in shame_.)

THE NEXT MORNING

( _The boys have fully healed.)_

 _(Boys are struck by lightning)_

 _(Him Appears_ )

Brick: What the hell was that for!?

Him: DON'T RAISE YOUR VOICE AT ME ( _Strikes Brick again_ ) And I did it because you didn't finish the riddle.

Brick: ( _Burnt_ ) What, so do we get another riddle?

Him: No.

Butch: GROAAAAN

Him: ( _crosses arms_ ) since you didn't finish the first riddle in time, I've decided to add on to your punishment.

Brick: This isn't enough punishment for you!?

Boomer: Yeah! we were beaten by the girls the other day-

Butch: We? You guys, we're beaten by the girls. I'm just pissed that I didn't get a kiss-

ZAP!

Brick: Could you seriously stop doing that?!

Him: Stop complaining. Now I know you boys are tired from the little tussle you and the girls got yourselves in, but daddy has a plan to make everything even-

Butch: Can we get your lightning bolt thingamajig?

Him: No. I have something much better.

* * *

 ** _if there are any spelling or grammar errors, sry, I'm tired..._**

 ** _...to be continued?_**


	2. Chapter 2

_**WELP**_

 _ **YOU GUYS WANTED OF THIS BIZZARE STORY. SO HERE YOU GO**._

* * *

( _Utonium household. The girls are cleaning up the shattered window from the guys exploding into their home. Professor already knows they have a shattered window.)_

Blossom:Can you believe they actually managed to break into our home?

Buttercup: Yeah. If I'd known they were coming I would've set electrical wires and antidote x around the windows. (Stops putting glass into trash bag. Looks up with lightbulb over her head.)

Blossom: Buttercup, thats a bit foolish. We fly in from the windows sometimes-

Bubbles: Yeah, I just flew into the window today, when I went to take a shower I found so many glass shards in my hair, I didn't even know.

Blossom: Y'see Buttercup. That idea is dangerous... (no response. Blossom sighs.) Look I know (Blossom looks over at buttercup, who is still dazed out, and trails off.) Buttercup?

Buttercup: (muttering)

Bubbles:(leans over to blossom, not taking her eyes off buttercup) What's she saying?

Blossom:(eyeing buttercup as well) I have no idea.

Buttercup:...must hurt boys...must hurt boys...must hurt BOYS...must HURT BOYS ...MUST HURT-

Blossom: BUTTERCUP

Buttercup: Huh?

Bubbles: Hell yeah! I like that girl's thinkin'

Blossom: Yeah... I do too. Its just (eyes buttercup wearily) tone it down with the dark chanting a bit?

Buttercup:(a bit embarrassed) Oh. Hehe. sorry.

Bubbles: (Turns to blossom) So what's your plan?

Blossom: Mhhh...I dunno yet. But its gotta be something that they would never expect-

Buttercup: (very seriously) I SAW WE DRENCH THEM IN ANTIDOTE X AND THEN ACID.

Bubbles:(nodding) that could work.

Blossom: It could, but I was thinking something more subtle-

Buttercup: ADDING POISON TO THEIR FOOD

Blossom:No-

Buttercup: ADDING GASOLINE INTO THEIR SHAMPOO AND THEN LENDING THEM SCENTED CANDLES.

Blossom: Nah-

Buttercup:PEELING THEIR SKIN AND THEN SPRAY THEM WITH LEMON JUICE.

Blossom: no

Buttercup: BURN THEM

Blossom: Nope

Buttercup:FEED THEM TO LIONS

Buttercup:BEAT THEM WITH BATS

Buttercup:FEED THEM TO BATS

Buttercup:PUT CARNIVORES BATS IN THEIR HOME

Buttercup: BURN THEM IN THEIR HOME.

Buttercup: _BURN. THEM_.

Bubbles: I liked the scented candles one!

Blossom: No, we are not doing any of those! They're too obvious.

Bubbles: So what are we going to do?

Blossom: (thinking. light bulb) I think I've got it.

* * *

 _( **The rrb residence)**_

(there's a knock on the door)

Him: (making dinner) I've got it!

Butch:(to boomer) Give me back the remote you shit head!

Boomer: (enjoying MTV) no way! They're showing Avril Lavigne conspiracy theories.

Butch:Ughhhh! I dont fucking care, just give (tackles boomer) give the remote back asshole

Both brothers: (wrestling)

Boomer: No way dude!

Butch:(angry grumbling)

Boomer:(angry grumbling)

Him:HEY.

Both boys (look up)

Him: Would you too at least try to act decent.

Boomer:He started it-

Butch:He won't give the freaking remote-

Him:SHUT UP

Both boys: (Silence)

Him: (Glares at them. goes to open front door.)

Butch: (to Boomer) Pussy

Boomer: Stop talking about yourself

Him:(at the door. He opens it) Hello (smiles)

Girl: Hi! I'm... (takes a moment ro look at Him)...

Him:(flutters eyelashes innocently) Yes?

Girl: W-well... (a little fearfully) I'm selling girl scout cookies, and w-well, would you all like some-

Butch:OOOOH GET THE THIN MINTS

Boomer: WHAT!? NO! GET THE PEANUT BUTTER COOKIES

Butch: That's so gay

Him: How much do they cost?

Girl: N-n-nine Ninety nine a pack-

Him: NINE, NINETY NINE? THATS ABSURD.

Boomer: I think she said, _N-n-nine Ninety nine..._

Him: (dangerously) let me see these cookies

Girl: (timidly reveals boxes of cookies)

Him: (inspects)

Brick: (coming out of his room) Why the hell is everyone yelling?

Girl:I'm selling cookies.

Brick:Ooh , do you have any coconut?

Him: I'm not buying any of these cheap cookies, when I might as well (looks sternly at girl) make my own that will taste better and be at a lower price!

Girl: (nervous chuckle) That's... uh understandable sir-(looks at HIM) _MA'AM_

Him:(Glaring)

Girl: (sucks in deep breath) I'm so sorry.

Boomer: I'll buy them.

Him: Hush child. Daddy's trying to make a statement.

Boomer: (pouts) but I want girl scout cookies. Homemade cookies suck...

Him:(slams door in girls face) Daddy just got a new idea!

Brick: (Joylessly) Yay.

Him: You boys need some bonding time with your father, lately I've been feeling so distant from you.

Butch: We just came back from a trip to Brazil where all we did was serve to your every want and need.

Him: Yes, I know. But I feel ever since we've come back, you boys have found something better to do with your time, rather than spending it with me.

Brick:Anything other than hanging out with you is better.

Butch: OHHHHH.

Him: Hmm, everything? Even destroying the girls?

Brick:Lately, all it feels like you ever do is make us go out with them.

Butch: Yeah! And I'm not gay!

Boomer: Butch, we've been over this. BUTTERCUP. IS NOT. A BOY.

Butch: You wouldn't know that. You've seen her vagina?

Boomer : Dude! She has boobs!

Butch: Anyone can have boobs Boomer. Anyone.

Him: Is the only thing you boys do nowadays, is complain once I give you a simple task? I've never known such insufferable pricks.

Brick: (mutters) than you haven't acknowledged yourself.

* * *

 _(Later in that day)_

Brick: This is the dumbest shit we've ever agreed to-

Him: You'd better watch your mouth!

Brick: *sigh*

Him: Now you boys go do daddy's light lifting. I have more important things to tend to. And these poisonous cookies better look half decent or you'll do them over again, all of you! I don't want some crumbly mess, at least make the sudden gesture of giving "normal cookies" out, believable.

 **[Transition]**

Boomer: Hey... how much flour was I supposed to pour? *is covered in flour*

Butch: Definitley, not the whole bag.

Boomer: What!? I thought dad said to add all of it.

Brick:No. He didn't.

Butch: Here... the ingredients are right here.

Brick: *looking over it* Where did you get the notion to listen to Him after reading the box?

Boomer: I didn't read it...

Brick: *Glaring*

Boomer: *Innocent look*

Butch: *Messing with flour*

Brick: Just go get something to clean this up.

Boomer: *groan* Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine

Brick: *Looks over at Butch*

Butch: *Mindlessly licking the poison*

Brick: *Watches brother disinterestedly*

Butch: *Eyes grow wide*

Butch: *Face plants into table*

Butch: *Is knocked out from poison*

Brick: *Shakes head*

* * *

 **[Girl's residence]**

Butch: *knocks on the door*

Buttercup: I got it! *goes to answer door*

Butch: Hey, we got you some cook-

Buttercup: *steals Butch in the face*

Blossom: *from her room* What on Earth was that!?

Buttercup: *wide eyed* Nothing... *slowly closes door on knocked out Butch*

* * *

[ **Monkeyz Residence]**

 _(Boys are in living area. Him is nursing his green eyed son Butch, with an ice pack. They all look some type of upset.)_

Him: My poor baby...

Butch: *Groooaaaaaaan*

Brick: I told you this was a stupid idea.

Him: Well, do you have a better one?

Brick: Yeah. We could just leave the girls alone.

Boomer: Isn't this out punishment?

Brick: *glares at brother.*

Him: He's right, this is your punishment

Butch: *whining* Man this is the worst punishment of worst punishments.

Brick: Why can't we do something normal? Like clean your weaponry or somethin'...

Him: Because...* smirks* this is fun.

Brick: *Is holding everything in his might to not lose his shit*

Boomer: I have a question!

Him: Yes?

Boomer: If the girls don't eat the cookies, *eyes sparkle* can we?

Him: *considers*

Brick: Boomer!

Butch: Are you trying to kill us?!

Boomer: Wh- But they're chocolate chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip.

Brick: Did you forget that we literally drenched these in POISON!?

Boomer: But they smell so good!

Butch: Bro. Trust me. You do NOT wanna touch those cookies.

Brick: Yeah, they nearly killed Butch.

Him: They did?

Butch: Yeah!

Brick: I witnessed it.

Him: That's strange *inspects cookies* the ingredients I handed you were supposed to be for a love potion-

Brick: Love potion!

Him: *Spawns ingredients list. Reads over it aloud* Let's see... four eggs for rise of dough... three cups of milk and sugar for taste... hmm, use all flour to lessen poison-

Butch: We followed instructions from the box.

Him: Is that so?

Boomer: Ha! I told you guys! Dad, I told them to add all the flour, but Brick told me I was wrong.

Him: Ohhh, so it's *to Brick* _YOU WHO HAVE DELIBERATELY DISOBEYED MY ORDERS ONCE AGAIN_.

Brick: You gave us the ingredients to a LOVE potion!?

Him: Well it doesn't matter now, does it Mr. Know-It-All!? All I ask from you is to follow what I say and you can't even do that!

Brick: You just ordered us to make cookies and add the poison you handed us!

Him: I gave Boomer the potion ingredients!

Brick: Honestly, who can rely on that guy!

Boomer: Hey...

Him: THAT'S ENOUGH FROM YOU. FIRST YOU DISRESPECT ME, THEN YOU DISRESPECT YOUR BROTHER. IF YOU CAN'T TAKE WHAT I SAY THATS FINE, BUT I'M NOT GOING TO HAVE YOU TALK ABOUT ONE ANOTHER IN THAT MATTER, _IN MY FACE_. GO TO YOUR ROOM.

Brick:...

Brick: *Dashes off to room*

Brick: *slams door*

Him: *Shakes head and sighs*

Boomer: So...do we need to throw the cookies away?

Butch: *Smacks Boomer upside the head*

Him:*Hissing* Yes. It'd be mindless not to do so.

Butch: I've got it. *goes to throw cookies out*

Boomer: So... does this mean we're off punishment?

Him: Huh?

Boomer: Cause...y'know , we kinda screwed this over-

Him: Are you saying, according to your logic, because you ALL screwed over the punishment, you ALL deserve to be laid off?

Boomer: No! No! I- hehe- I just meant like, since we messed over the main element to the uh...plan... do we... like... just... move on? *Looks at Him*

Him: *Looks at son*

Him: Hehehehehehe

Boomer: *Looks around*

Him: Aha! Ahahaha!

Boomer: *nervous chuckle* hehe-

Him: AHA! MWAHAHAHAHAA!

Boomer: *eyes grow small*

Him: * Wipes tear from laughter* Oh Boomer... you sure know how to make me laugh. *serious* But no. No we don't just quit and move on- we never do that. No, instead we try a different method. *Thinking* We'll need to do something *Looks at Boomer whom is looking back at him with shimmering eyes* More... *evil smirk* subtle.

DUN DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN

* * *

 ** _THIS WAS SO LONG._**

 ** _Alright y'all. I ain't edit this so sry bouts that. Yes I'm working on the next part but it might be awhile before uploading, so... back to my hiatus I go!_**

 ** _Have a wonderful day (or night)_**

 ** _Dab and cmnt for me (or don't...whichever doesn't burst your bubble)_**

 ** _BYEEEEE_**


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